NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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