Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
