I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
