My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
