We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
