i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
