I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
