Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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