happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
