I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
