who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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