Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
