i already hear my dad disowning me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
MIDGETS
????
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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