No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
