Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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