Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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