my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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