you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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