I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
