you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
