Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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