...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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