Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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