There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
