This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
