Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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