Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
