It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
