You smell like a Billy Joel song
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
