The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
