when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
