I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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