i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
