The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
