I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
