Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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