i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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