we're chasing vodka with high fives
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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