I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
