You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
