ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
