Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
