Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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