god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
