I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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