i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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