she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
