why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
