Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
