Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
