i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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