She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize